What will Really Happen in 2000

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What's Really Going To Happen At The Year 2000:

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"99 Bottles of Beer" song gets stuck in an infinite loop.

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At the stroke of midnight on 12/31/1999, Windows 99* turns back into DOS 1.0; the Pentium* V turns back into an 8088, and the Handsome User is left holding a beautiful glass mouse.

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Internet Movie Database now lists "1901: A Space Odyssey".

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Bob Dole's age erroneously listed with only two digits.

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Sales of Coca-Cola jump drastically after original cocaine-laden formula becomes legal again.

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Software engineers point out that since computers think it's almost 1900, we technically have to "party like it's 1899" (which, frankly, doesn't seem like that much fun).

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Microsoft declares the year 1900 to be the new standard of the "Gatesian" Calendar.

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Jesus shows up late for His Second Coming; blames it on COBOL programmers.

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Using a computerized adoption service, Michael Jackson mistakenly takes home some octogenarians.

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Unexpected demand for COBOL programmers results in severe personnel shortage at McDonald's restaurants.